Gavin had his first formal swim lessons this summer at a local city pool. While he didn't actually learn to swim here, he did learn valuable lessons on group activities, listening to a teacher, and how to have fun in the water. His swimming skills have greatly improved this summer. He is now swimming independently for several feet, and ready for the next lesson at the local YMCA this fall!
I'm waaaaay overdue, I know. But I'm too tired to try to get this blog up to date. So, this is a teaser post. Watch for the following updates in the days to come: Gavin's swim lessons recap, Gavin's new bike, Landscaping, preschool, and maybe a few other topics I'm forgetting. I just spent a couple hours catching up on uploading and editing photos. They're ready to go, check back soon!
Last week, Gavin decided that he likes his bike (a hand-me-down from his cousin Luke). Up to this point, our spring and summer have been heavily weighted toward the scooter. No interest in the bike. I came home from work last week to find Gavin cruising all around our new neighborhood. And now he is unstoppable (literally, sometimes). We're even investigating a new bike from him. He needs something a little bigger. He gave a couple bikes a test drive while visiting the local bike shop this week with Brad. Apparently, he was tearing it up test driving at high speeds in the store. I'm pretty sure we have a future triathlete on our hands. He mastered running very early on, now swimming and biking. Like father, like son.
Here's a little snapshot of his riding skills...
We've been doing a lot of swimming this summer in the unseasonably, unbearably HOT weather. I thought I'd let the videos do most of the talking for this post. Gavin's skills in the pool are advancing by the day. I've put these videos in chronologic order, but all five or so of them were taken within about three weeks of each other. He started out the swimming season doing really well with his swimmies, took on the diving board and slide, and most recently is swimming independently for up to 20ish feet. It's amazing to watch him advance! We started him in lessons a few weeks ago, but really the course is focused on toddler basics, so he is much more advanced than what he's learning in class (but those skills are still important too, so we're not bumping him up).
It's been a blast!
Diving board with swimmies: Slide with swimmies: Shallow end with no swimmies: Diving board with no swimmies: And just this week, swimming independently in the deep end: Sorry, I know this is excessive, but I love to document these milestones!
One year ago today, the Lord took this great man from us. Mark, I hope you are up in heaven playing golf, riding your bike, and enjoying a nice cold Sam Adams on this very hot day! We miss you immensely and love you even more.
6-7-12: Pretty much everything is packed, just the last bedroom and kitchen "stuff" to go. I'm not sure that it's even quite hit me that we're moving in just a few days. We've been so busy packing that I've not taken a lot of time to just reflect on what a big deal this is.
We've been in our house for nearly eight years now. When we bought it, we were so excited to have such a beautiful "starter" home. We knew we wouldn't live here forever, but it was such a fabulous house and neighborhood for a couple of recent college grads living on love. We had little to fill our house those first couple of years - a futon, we bought a bed, a hand-me-down dining room table and chairs, a 19 inch TV, and some dressers that we got on sale at Target. Brad was substitute teaching, waiting for a full time position to come his way, and I had just graduated from pharmacy school, still had to take my boards and was starting my residency program. That was a very busy fall. (I passed my boards fortunately).
Over the years, we've transitioned to people who have 401k's and Roth IRAs, and a college fund for Gavin. We've accumulated a considerable amount of "stuff". No more futon or hand-me-down table. The TV is much larger now. We have a living room full of cars and trains and kids books. And all of that baby stuff that should also be cluttering our living room, but alludes me instead, is packed away in our mechanical room.
We're "graduating" from Orchard Ridge, moving to the next phase of housing. When we bought our house, we were so thrilled to have more than most for a starter home. A brand new house in a neighborhood that we grew to love over the years it was developed. Brad's parents, as I've said in previous posts, lived just up the street. Brad and I would walk through Orchard Ridge when we were dating, thinking how cool it would be to live there one day...never realizing it was more within reach than we would have thought. We grew to love the neighborhood more and more as the years passed, building our little "estate" and meeting our neighbors - all fantastic, grounded people who moved to the Ridge seeking much the same that we sought. It has been a great family community nestled between the city and country living, something we've always liked and are glad we are feeling in our new place.
6-23-12: So, I started this post over a week ago - but am finishing it now, one week into living in our new home. My apologies for finishing late...it's been a busy week or so! We've not quite closed on our Orchard Ridge home, a delay on the underwriting side for the buyer - unfortunately, given we moved out so quickly to accommodate him, and he is very busy with starting a new job...living out of a U-haul. It sounds like everything should be wrapped up early next week. Phew!
We've been in the new house, like I said, for just over a week. Surprisingly, the move went very well with a reputable and highly recommended moving company. Packing was not so fun, unpacking as well...but we're down to the last few boxes so that feels great.
Our first night, Gavin woke up three or four times, got out of bed, and turned his bedroom lights on. We went in to turn them off only to find him sleeping in his bed. I imagine he awoke and was a bit scared of the new place. But after the first night, his transition has been going well. The dog, well, that's another story. He's not acclimating well to the hardwood floors. And I'll be darned if I'm doing to cover the beautiful new floors with rugs for him! Poor Stuart!
The one major hurdle with the new place is our lack of landscaping. Without a curious toddler, no problem. With a curious toddler, it's an issue. Gavin could care less that we have no landscaping. He loves playing in the sand (it's sandy here as opposed to the hard clay at Orchard Ridge), getting dirty, collecting rocks in his play dump truck, scaling our 45 degree sand hill in the back. No biggie, it's fun mom! Yes, it is just loads of laughs dumping your shoes of sand and cleaning up after the mess, let alone the worrying about falls from said backyard hill. Just a blast! Well, I suppose it is a bit of an adventure, but we're ready for some grass! Landscaping quotes are on their way!
Gavin is loving the house - a play room and a bedroom, how cool to have two rooms! We're loving it to - it is feeling more like home each day. The first couple of days were weird, it didn't feel like home. I think it will take some time to get to that point of true comfort. Little by little. We're certainly enjoying the surroundings and all that nature and the parks have to offer. We love the location of our new place - it's close proximity to the city and all things that we love, but with a rural and intimate feel.
To all of our friends in Orchard Ridge - we will so very much miss you! We've come to love the comfort that having you near has brought. You are all such lovely people with lovely children. Please keep in touch! You've seen us through the good times and bad, and for that we are very grateful! If you're looking to relocate, I bet we can find a place for you in our new neighborhood...how cool would that be :)
This move is a big deal. We have been very blessed to invest in this. We always said our Orchard Ridge home was much more than we ever would have imagined for a started home, and that we'd likely be there for 5-10 years. We're smack in the middle of that, 8 years lived there. So, I suppose we held true to our intentions. But we never would have expected to fall so in love with that place and all that surrounded us there. We started our family, grew our family, and now have flown from the nest.
I'll always love that nest...
I almost typed 365, but then remembered it's a leap year.
366 days I've lived without you Grace. 366 days during which I probably thought about you more than 366 times in each day. On my way to work, on my way home, throughout the day, at 4am when I should probably still be getting up to feed you (if you were like your brother, at least, at this age), on the weekends when you should be with us on our family outings. You're a constant thought in my mind and my heart. Exit 28. In the past 366 days, I have not passed that on my way home without thinking about you and getting that - what's become my new normal - lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. That's your exit, the way to your cemetery. I pass it everyday on my way home from work and think of you, at times pulling off because the magnetic force is calling me to visit you.
Reflecting - in many ways, I've come so far. In other ways I'm very much the same numb person I was when you left this world. I long for the moments that someone, anyone, will mention you and talk with me about you. It doesn't happen often. And I probably scare people off when they do ask with tears filling my eyes - not that they always do when I talk about you - but usually they do mainly because I'm so proud to talk about you. Most parents get to share exciting developmental updates about their kids with friends or coworkers who ask. Or their complaints. I suppose I don't have either, so it doesn't make for good conversation. Then, there are the awkward moments when someone outside of the inner circle unknowingly asks about my kids. I love to share that I have two children, one living and one waiting to be reunited one day. I get one of two reactions - either they can relate because they too have experienced a loss (the minority react in this fashion) or it just makes them uncomfortable, so they give me a glimmer of sad face and then change the subject, as if I just told them I had a spoiled sandwich for lunch. No biggie, just move on. So, I've come to a keener sense of with whom and when I can speak of you. Of with whom and when your life will be honored and dignified...and I avoid talk of my children with the others. But I cringe every time I do it, thinking you will think I don't love you enough to share your life with them. That I'm ashamed. I'm not at all Grace.
Many things have been therapeutic over the past year. It's those same car rides that bring the lump in my throat and tears in my eyes that have also been a great comfort. I spend the majority of a typical day happy and focused. It's good for me to have those few moments, my driving time primarily, that I can spend alone and thinking. Maybe playing some good soothing 80's on 8 music in the background (enter Peter Cetera....). And running provides those moments as well, though I'm not training for any big running event right now like I typically would be (or would have just finished), given your dad is training for an Ironman. So, not a ton of running reflection lately at least.
It's been good having supportive friends and family. And particularly those who not only tell you they care, but act it out, even in very small and simple ways. You know who you are - thank you for taking the time to care so much.
Mother's Day was a challenge this year. I didn't blog about it - not at all because I don't like being a mother, I absolutely do. It just wasn't complete without Grace. I very much enjoyed my time with Gavin, but there was a definite missing piece. I looked back on my blog from last Mother's Day, when I was in the hospital. While I dreaded being away from home and longed to be with Brad and Gavin, there was something so special about that Mother's Day. I had both of my children - I'll never have that again here on Earth.
So, on your Birthday Eve, Grace, I'm thinking about you a lot. I'm thinking about what a milestone birthday this would have been for you. What a milestone it feels like in our grief journey. For the past several months, I've reflected on what I was doing a year ago. The roller coaster, the emotions, ups and downs, hope and failure. It's hard to believe it has been a year - many times it feels like just yesterday. The world keeps turning, faster and faster it seems.
Tonight is my "Debbie Downer" post, I guess. Tomorrow, on your birthday, I'm hoping to focus more on the good. We'll be visiting with you, planting flowers around your tree, having a picnic by your side. It will be a day of remembering, honoring and reflecting. I know you'll be with us in spirit. We love you Gracie!
This will be a quick post. I've been reflecting on big steps that Gavin is making recently, and wanted to document them on my virtual baby book (well, the blog's not just a baby book I suppose, it's my venting board as well!).
Potty training - boy, we're turning a corner! Accidents are getting less and less frequent; in fact, rare would be a good descriptor. Gavin is consistently using the potty, asking to use the potty (instead of us having to ask and remind him several times per day). He is getting better at "holding it" until we're at the potty, which sometimes can be a 10 minute car ride away. And at night, he is almost always dry now (95% of nights). It's not a struggle to get him to the potty any longer. And he is getting better about re-dressing himself post-duty (a major step to being ready for preschool in the fall).
Speaking of preschool - we've enrolled him! Gavin will officially be starting a two day (half days) program in the fall. Crazy! We filled out the oodles of paper work earlier this month and sent in our deposit. He's ready. I'm excited to see how he blossoms, not that he needs blossoming, but it will be good. On the playground or outside in our neighborhood, he LOVES to make new friends. He's such a pleasant little guy! Runs up to other kids, introduces himself, many times gives hugs (maybe a little creepy, but he's three, right?). I'm excited to see him make friends at school who he gets to see regularly. Given he doesn't go to daycare, preschool will be a good social opportunity for him.
And my final thought for this quick post - the pacifier fairy! She visited! After our trip to Florida, it was time. Really, it was probably time a year or more ago but we had other things going on that were more important than a silly pacifier. We knew the time would be good - no major events or trips planned when he might want his "bye" extra (this is what he's called his pacifier since he first started talking). I've heard horror stories of other parents who finally took their children's paci's away. We planned ahead. The day after getting back from Florida, we began to tell Gavin that a pacifier fairy would be coming soon for his "bye's". She would be bringing them to littler babies who needed them more. Gavin quickly decided that the fairy was Tinkerbell. So, we went with it. I guess part of me liked the idea of Tinkerbell since I don't have a daughter to overplay the princesses and fairies with - gosh, wish I did - so, Tinkerbell it was.
We spent a couple of weeks talking with Gavin about how Tink would be coming to take the "bye's" at night and that maybe she would leave a little surprise for him in exchange. He had lots of ideas about what the surprise would be (mainly various different Thomas and Friends trains). The night came when we put all the "bye's" in his nightstand...and the next morning, Gavin discovered "Ferdinand" the train in his drawer. His first day at nap time, he was quite upset with Brad, saying he wanted to be little and have his bye again. He didn't want to be a big boy. He wanted Tink to take Ferdinand back to Meijer (he knows that all things come from Meijer...or Costco, the "big Meijer"). That nap was the only time he got really upset. That evening and all evenings to follow, he doesn't even mention his "bye's". Overall, it went very smoothly! And to think I was dreading taking this little comfort away from my big boy!
Gosh, the past few months have been filled with such transitions - from little to big. A big boy bed, expanded conversational and social skills, potty training, talk of preschool, good-bye "bye", more and more independence and learning. I'm loving it, but also missing so many things about the baby and toddler stages. These fleeting days go by so quickly. But our love for Gav just grows, I suppose, with each quickly passing moment.
March of Dimes is holding their annual March for Babies walk on Saturday April 28. Brad and I are putting a team together. We invite you, our blog followers, to walk with us, make a donation, or both.
I've put together a webpage with details on the walk and how to donate. Visit here.
April 28, 2012
Foremost Insurance
5600 Beechtree
Caledonia, MI 49316
Walk Distance: 3.3 miles
Registration Time: 9:00 AM
Start Time: 10:30 AM
Chapter: Grand Rapids Division
Phone: (616) 247-6861
I'm overdue with this post, I know. Better late than never. Here's a sampling of my favorite photos from Gavin's 3 year session the beginning of March...
Can't believe we've been going to our beautiful beach each year for the past eight years now! It's just paradise there and we look forward to our week of relaxation each year. This year was nothing but fab - perfect weather and 99% perfect company. Gavin had a blast. It's fun to see each year how much he advances from the prior year. This year, he was much more independent and much more "trustworthy". He loved running in and out of the ocean. Loved playing in the sand. Loved jumping into the pool all by himself...seems like hundreds of times each day (jumping in like a "submarine" as he called it). Loved spending time with Momma and Dadda and MaeMe and BaPa.
The only thing that would have made it 100% perfect would have been keeping a 10 month old little girl from putting sand in her mouth. That didn't happen.
Here are some fun photos to document this year's trip...
Goodness, what has happened to me? Clearly I've been a blogging slacker as of late. Well, I'm going to work on getting things updated. I have three-year photos, Florida vacation update/photos, Easter happenings, and some randomness to get documented. Geesh...
More to come shortly!
