We've had quite a few people ask about where Grace is buried. She is at Holy Cross Cemetery on the Northwest side of Grand Rapids (next to West Catholic High School). She is buried in the Garden of Angels section on the northern-most side of the cemetery.
I never thought I would say this, but I really enjoy spending time at the cemetery. Funny how as a child and even up until just recently, cemeteries have had a somewhat creepy, dark feeling to me. My view now couldn't be farther from this. Grace's place is so very serene, peaceful, beautiful. It is a place where I collect my thoughts, clear my brain, let my emotions be what they are. And if you're picturing me crying hysterically when I'm there, I really don't most of the time. Sometimes, yes. So many times when we visit, we laugh, read stories, try to wrangle in Gavin while he's running carelessly through Grace's neighborhood...sometimes not being the most respectful toddler (e.g. running his cars on the tops of other gravestones or stealing flowers from the neighbor's place). I really hope that our cemetery "neighbor" Joan likes children...and that she is a forgiving soul. Gavin has lots of fun at her place.
"Go to visit Grace at the cemetery." "Grace in heaven in the blue sky." "Grandpa there, too." Heartbreaking to hear his tiny little voice say these things. How many two year olds know the word "cemetery" and use in their daily conversations? Not many.
Grace's neighborhood has other children, too. I imagine their siblings knew/know all of these things that Gavin has learned. Hard lessons for such little ones. But lessons that I think will make Gavin a very empathetic, loving boy. I like to think that Grace is playing with her neighbor friends in heaven - Caleb who died when he was just six years old (he has little matchbox cars by his gravestone that Gavin tries to "borrow") and babies Thomas, Anita and Angela (and maybe more that we haven't noticed yet).
We've been working diligently the past few months to design Grace's headstone - well, really our headstone, as Brad and I will join her some day and share a stone. There is very little we can do to parent our daughter. The things that we can do are so important to us. This was one major "thing" for us to do. Today, the finished stone arrived. It's bittersweet, like so many things lately. On one hand, it is great to have this stone in place to honor the life of Grace. On the other hand, it is just so sad that this is what we have to look forward to... a hunk of granite with her name on it. If you'd asked me last year, I'd have told you I was looking forward to spending several thousand dollars on new granite counter tops. Now we have a whole different kind of granite instead. The kind that very few our age even have to think about.
So, here's the finished product. Ignore my reflected imagine in the photos. The sun was shining just right that I couldn't avoid it.
I never thought I would say this, but I really enjoy spending time at the cemetery. Funny how as a child and even up until just recently, cemeteries have had a somewhat creepy, dark feeling to me. My view now couldn't be farther from this. Grace's place is so very serene, peaceful, beautiful. It is a place where I collect my thoughts, clear my brain, let my emotions be what they are. And if you're picturing me crying hysterically when I'm there, I really don't most of the time. Sometimes, yes. So many times when we visit, we laugh, read stories, try to wrangle in Gavin while he's running carelessly through Grace's neighborhood...sometimes not being the most respectful toddler (e.g. running his cars on the tops of other gravestones or stealing flowers from the neighbor's place). I really hope that our cemetery "neighbor" Joan likes children...and that she is a forgiving soul. Gavin has lots of fun at her place.
"Go to visit Grace at the cemetery." "Grace in heaven in the blue sky." "Grandpa there, too." Heartbreaking to hear his tiny little voice say these things. How many two year olds know the word "cemetery" and use in their daily conversations? Not many.
Grace's neighborhood has other children, too. I imagine their siblings knew/know all of these things that Gavin has learned. Hard lessons for such little ones. But lessons that I think will make Gavin a very empathetic, loving boy. I like to think that Grace is playing with her neighbor friends in heaven - Caleb who died when he was just six years old (he has little matchbox cars by his gravestone that Gavin tries to "borrow") and babies Thomas, Anita and Angela (and maybe more that we haven't noticed yet).
We've been working diligently the past few months to design Grace's headstone - well, really our headstone, as Brad and I will join her some day and share a stone. There is very little we can do to parent our daughter. The things that we can do are so important to us. This was one major "thing" for us to do. Today, the finished stone arrived. It's bittersweet, like so many things lately. On one hand, it is great to have this stone in place to honor the life of Grace. On the other hand, it is just so sad that this is what we have to look forward to... a hunk of granite with her name on it. If you'd asked me last year, I'd have told you I was looking forward to spending several thousand dollars on new granite counter tops. Now we have a whole different kind of granite instead. The kind that very few our age even have to think about.
So, here's the finished product. Ignore my reflected imagine in the photos. The sun was shining just right that I couldn't avoid it.
The front...
(the banner above Grace's name says "Forever Our Angel" and "Too Beautiful for Earth" under her name and birth/death date, in case you can't read it because it's too small in the photo)
(the banner above Grace's name says "Forever Our Angel" and "Too Beautiful for Earth" under her name and birth/death date, in case you can't read it because it's too small in the photo)
And the back...
The back of the stone is what took so long to decide on. We knew early on that we wanted some variation of "Amazing Grace" on the back...we couldn't fit the entire song, so we used the first three verses, really our favorite verses. And the butterflies...I just love the butterflies. Butterflies have become our symbol of Grace. They are like little angels with their beautiful, graceful wings. And they have been so prevalent this summer that every time we see one, we think it is our Gracie reincarnated. I think they are just a beautiful, subtle touch on our stone.
We also had a tree planted in honor of Grace right next to our plots. Again, little that we can do for our Grace. We love trees, so this was a perfect fit. I envision us having many picnics there in the years to come, shaded nicely by our tree (once it grows bigger). It is a cute, twiggy little red maple with the following dedication...
So, now that the stone has arrived, we're thinking about holding a dedication soon. Just a short prayer and time for family, friends, co-workers, blog followers - whoever would like to come - to share a moment with us and with Grace. And an opportunity for everyone to see where Grace's place is. It will be just for a few minutes, so nothing formal or lengthy. Obviously, we had a private funeral and burial so many of our loved ones and friends have not had a chance to visit or pay their respect to Grace. This would be that opportunity. I'll post more in the days to come as we plan a date and time. But please know that all are welcome to join us - we'd be honored if you'd like to come. And if you don't feel comfortable, that is fine, too. If you do decide to come, I think you'll find the same serenity and peace at Grace's that we find. It really is a beautiful place, filled with wonderful souls!
Some day, "Grace will lead me home". Until then, I will live every day honoring her. I love you my Grace!
2 comments:
It's beautiful Erica. You've really given Grace something to be proud of. Have you thought about planting a butterfly bush for her?
Erica, it is breathtaking, just as Grace was. I hope to run into you soon at work so I can give you a hug. Karen D
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