Day 11

Today marks my 11th day away from home, in the hospital. Many have been asking how I am doing. I'm hanging in there. For the most part, I've been keeping myself busy in the downtime, thanks to work, visitors and other fillers. I have to say, though, I have this constant lump-in-my-throat-feeling, missing home and family.

Gavin is starting to ask more questions, wondering where I am. Brad said that when he wakes up in the morning or from a nap he'll ask for me. I wasn't really expecting this, given I'm not usually home when he wakes up in the morning or from naps; I'm at work, except weekends, I suppose. In a way, I'm glad he misses me and hasn't forgotten entirely about me. Or hasn't forgotten that I usually live at home and not in a separate place that he comes to visit. But it really makes me sad to not be there for him.

Medically, this past week had been going pretty uneventfully. I'm trying to be a "boring" patient. Fetal monitoring is looking good, dopplers on ultrasound are good as well. Then I had my one hour glucose tolerance test for gestational diabetes on Thursday morning - failed. Okay, no big deal, I'll do the three-hour and all will be okay. I passed the one-hour with Gavin, flying colors. I don't have any other risk factors for gestational diabetes. WRONG - I failed. SERIOUSLY?!? I was so bummed. Another complication added to an already VERY difficult pregnancy. Apparently, I failed by just 4 points on the 1 hour and 2 hour readings. The 3 hour reading was normal.

All of the sudden, I'm on the other side of this diabetes thing - it's me, not the patient I'm counseling. I even got called a "diabetic" when I ordered my breakfast yesterday, because I was told I couldn't have brown sugar in my oatmeal (even though it was well within my carb allotment). I'll never forget learning in pharmacy school that we shouldn't refer to patients as "diabetics", that's labeling. All of my Ferris classmate blog-followers likely also remember this lecture with Joan Rider our P3 year. We should call them "patients with diabetes". Well, I felt the effects of this first hand. I was so offended, I started to sob after I was off the phone from ordering. HOW DARE SHE CALL ME A DIABETIC! I'm a pregnant woman who happens to have diabetes. And why can't I have brown sugar - just a teaspoon? If I were managing diabetes outpatient, I'd be able to have more flexibility in my choices. Now I'm stuck ordering from a menu that doesn't give me as many choices.

So, somewhat encouraging news Friday - my doctors think that my glucose tolerance test results may not be accurate. Some patients who haven't been eating a lot of carbs prior to being tested don't respond well to the large glucose load in the glucola test. They think this may be the case for me and may re-test later this week after I've had a few days of carb loading.

I can tell you, I felt awful for about 45 minutes after downing the glucola. So nauseous! I happened to be watching the Royal Wedding (why not, I'm awake anyway) and was trying my best to keep the glucola down. I'll probably never forget where I was when Will and Cate were married! Hopefully, I'll get to tell Grace this story one day. I'll have lots of pregnancy stories for her. Boy, I hope I get to tell her some day.

I've been checking my fasting and one hour post-prandial (post-meal) blood glucose and they have been well below the threshold. My post-prandials are even running below the threshold for fasting. I just have a gut feeling that the results from last week aren't accurate. Though I know that they could be. My placenta may just be releasing too much anti-insulin hormone, causing me to have diabetes (gosh, this placenta is out to get me!). If I do, I'm very much hoping I can manage it through diet. It's not that different from what I already eat...except the brown sugar - can you tell I'm not over this!?! And I'm hoping that it goes away after pregnancy and doesn't resurface down the road, which will be a risk.

It's just so frustrating to have another thing going wrong.

On the up side, I'm fortunate to have very good providers taking care of me through the Center for Diabetes and Endocrinology at Wege. Funny, I have a work relationship with many of these health providers...now I'm their patient. I suppose I'm not immune.

Also on the up side, Brad and I had a date night on Friday, hospital-style! My parents offered to watch Gavin for the night (thanks MaeMe and BaPa!). We were planning to have pizza, needless-to-say that went down the tubes when I got the "Big D" diagnosis. Instead, we dined on hospital food overlooking downtown GR from the top of Lacks. There is a beautiful atrium and outdoor space at Lacks, that is hardly used, so it was a nice get-away from eating in my room...wheelchair ride and all! We also rented The King's Speech. We've been wanting to see it for months but have been a bit preoccupied. It was a fabulous story of overcoming adversity and the difficult road you have to take sometimes. Hummm, maybe a lesson learned without even knowing it! And the movie selection seemed even more appropriate given all of the monarchy happenings during the week.

Hard to believe it is May now. I'm very much missing my normal May activities - nice weather, spring yard clean-up, planting flowers and our veggie garden. These really are some of my favorite things. I suppose I'll have to wait until next year to do them. I requested that my gift for Mother's Day this year be for Brad to plant our garden so that I can take it over later this summer when I'm home. I LOVE fresh, homegrown veggies and don't want to miss out! And Gavin is a tomato monster, so I know he'll enjoy helping with it this year, and consuming the fruits of our labor.

Today, I am 28 weeks 4 days gestation. Grace and I just keeping checking off the days...one at a time! Thanks for keeping us (and Brad and Gavin) in your thoughts and prayers!